Tonya Shirelle Encouraging Thoughts to Lift Yourself Up

Tonya Shirelle | Have you had a failure that made you not want to get out of bed? I’ve just come back from a public speaking contest where I was unable to make the next round. I practiced hard but was unable to come up with a satisfying message. I worked hard but it felt like my efforts were wasted.

I wanted to redeem myself immediately but knew I couldn’t. I would have to wait and live with the negative feelings for a year until the next contest. Big failures crush your self-esteem, your confidence and your drive. Your morale is depleted and you question your goals and your self-worth. Getting out of bed hurts and you don’t want to try again.

While staying in bed sounds nice, you have to get up. Even with failure stinging your heart, you have to keep moving towards the future.

Tonya Shirelle Motivating yourself again is tough but here are a few things you can tell yourself to feel positive again:

1. Failure Was Bound To Happen
Everyone wants to avoid failure, but you cannot be successful without it. The road to success has a few failures, it’s unavoidable. Success is not the smooth journey people make it out to be.

Before my loss, I had been winning at other public speaking contests. I did get the feeling of invincibility, but unfortunately I knew this would not last. As much as I hate failure, it is part of life. You can’t keep succeeding without encountering failure. You were going to fail eventually. It doesn’t mean that you deliberately tried to fail, but it had to happen at some point.

“Success is measured by how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton

2. There Will Be A Second Chance
Tonya Shirelle | Unless you quit chasing your dreams entirely, there will always be another chance to try again. It is difficult to accept after a big failure, but deep down you know it is true. Even though I lost the contest, I knew there would be another one next year. It’s a long wait but I would be able to compete and hopefully succeed where I previously failed. Life is long enough that there are multiple opportunities to reach your goal. Things can change and you may not be facing the same landscape that you faced before, but that doesn’t mean success is gone forever.

3. There Might Be Something To Learn
As much as we like learning from our successes, our failures still have lessons they can teach us. Revisiting your failure might give you insight into why things went the way they did, and how you can stop it from happening the next time. Failed to prepare as much as you believed? Attention divided due to other issues? Underestimated the obstacles you had to overcome?

I’ve done all of these and more, which has resulted in failures that I’m not proud of. I still take a look to see what I can change next time. Looking at these mistakes and being honest with myself hurts, but it helps me learn what I can do differently. Don’t let the opportunity to learn pass you by because it’s painful to reflect. If you know there is something you can do to improve, take it as a learning experience.

4. Stop Thinking “That Should Be Me”
I should have landed that sale. I should be the one holding the trophy. I should be experiencing success instead of that person. It’s easy to fall into that line of thinking, especially if you were extremely close to succeeding. You can’t help but think you deserve success instead of failure, but this traps you in the past. It makes you reimagine your failure into success, and it feels wonderful. You want to live in that world.

It’s not a good thought to have. By believing that you should have succeeded, you’re not moving forward. Your mind will be replaying that moment, convincing you that everyone else was wrong and you were right. It’s hard to resist and you will inevitably have that thought, but success is not about thinking about what should have been. It’s about working on what could be.

5. You Are More Than Your Failures | Tonya Shirelle
After failing at something you put all your effort in, you can feel pathetic. You would not have failed if you were competent, if you were the person you said you were. But since you didn’t succeed, you must not be as great as you thought. Public speaking is my specialty, and I am upset when I fail. I feel that if I’m not good at my specialty, I’m a failure. If I can’t be the best speaker in the room, my entire worth as a human is non-existent.

But failing doesn’t mean you’re incompetent. Everyone fails, even the successful people you idolize. Failing doesn’t mean you’re doomed to mediocrity, it just means that you have more work to do. You have succeeded before, which means you’re not as bad as you believe. Failure is not representative of your ability. You may have to change, but you never lost your potential.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

I’ve had to live with my failures for a long time, but every time I licked my wounds and prepared myself for the next opportunity to succeed. Failure always hurts, especially if it’s big. You question your ability and your chances to succeed in the future.

The good news is, there will always be another time to succeed. Failing is part of life, it happens, but you don’t have to fail the same way twice. Learn from your failures, know that it doesn’t define your ability and get your head out of the past. You didn’t succeed today, but there’s always tomorrow.

How to Get Your Motivation on at Work – Tonya Shirelle

Everyone chases motivation, and most of us endure periods without it. Lack of motivation doesn’t just affect performance at work. It affects your emotional well-being and your ability to continue pursuing the goals you’ve set for yourself. Recharging your drive isn’t easy, especially when so many factors steal it. Plus, you might end up in a catch-22, when lack of inspiration makes it harder to pursue activities which might, in turn, give you more initiative. When you’re feeling stuck, follow these tips to recover your motivation and energy.

Replace should with why.

Motivational speaker Tonya Shirelle says the word should can sabotage your motivation at work. When you feel like you should do something, deriving a sense of purpose or passion from that activity becomes difficult. Since no one is able to derive a sense of purpose from every email they send, you might want to focus on why instead.

Stop being so busy.

Lots of people fall into the trap of doing lots of tiny tasks at the beginning of the day, only to feel tired and uninspired when the bigger, more important tasks arise. Try flipping that formula. Tackle the big, daunting stuff at the beginning of the day when you’re fresh and energized. Accomplishing something significant adds energy to the rest of your day because you no longer have it hanging over your head.

Move throughout the day.

Sluggishness and drowsiness cut into our daily motivation at work. When you consider the health detriments of remaining sedentary for eight or more hours a day, it isn’t hard to see why you aren’t feeling your best. When you find your eyelids drooping or mind wandering there at your computer, stand up and get moving. Take a walk around the office, climb a few flights of stairs, or take a short stroll outside.

Lower your expectations outside of work.

Many people are emotionally exhausted, and your life outside of work can contribute to that. When you get home, do you relax and enjoy time with your family, or is your home life as busy as your work life? Rebalancing your personal life is difficult, and if you want to make changes, they won’t happen overnight. Start by focusing on doing one thing for yourself each week. Take a walk at a favorite park, book a massage, or have lunch with a friend. You need time to recharge your emotions, just like you need time to recharge your brain.

Connect more with coworkers.

Tonya Shirelle explains why its important to be connected with co workers.When you aren’t friendly with your coworkers, going to work every day becomes an unpleasant chore. Even if you have a rich personal life and don’t need any additional friends outside of work, you may still need friends at work. Distancing yourself from the rest of the office makes work harder for you because you spend so much time there without connecting with other humans.

Sometimes having a small conversation with one of your work friends in the break room can perk you up for your next meeting or task. Even if you aren’t a fan of most of your coworkers, find things in common with a few of them.

Find outside sources of inspiration.

Think about the people you admire. Have any of them written books or given talks you can look to for inspiration? If they’re close, like family members, think about why you admire them and then draw on those traits as a source of inspiration at your job like Tonya Shirelle. If you don’t know them well, do some additional research and discover what makes them tick. Often, you’ll find that they also worked hard and struggled with motivation from time to time.

Tonya Shirelle Ways to Deal With Negative Thoughts

Most of us spend a lot of time inside our own mind — worrying about the future, replaying events in the past, and generally focusing on the parts of life that leave us dissatisfied. While common, negative or unwanted thoughts can prevent you from enjoying experiences, distract you from focusing on what’s important, and drain your energy. They can also make you feel anxious and depressed.

The good news is that with dedicated practice, you can replace negative thinking patterns with Tonya Shirelle Motivational thoughts that actually help. This can make a huge difference in your day-to-day happiness and comfort.

Try these 7 ways to manage (and decrease) your negative thoughts:

1. Recognize thought distortions. Our minds have clever and persistent ways of convincing us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts reinforce negative thinking. If you can recognize them, you can learn to challenge them. Here are four common thought distortions:

• Black and white thinking. Seeing everything as one way or another, without any in between.
• Personalizing. Assuming you are to blame for anything that goes wrong, like thinking someone did not smile at you because you did something to upset her. (It’s more likely that person is having a hard day and her mood had nothing to do with you.)
• Filter thinking. Choosing to see only the negative side of a situation.
• Catastrophizing. Assuming the worst possible outcome is going to happen.

2. Challenge negative thoughts. Whenever you have a distorted thought, stop and evaluate whether it is accurate. Think about how you would respond if a friend spoke about herself that way. You would probably offer a good rebuttal to his or her negative view. Apply the same logic to your own thoughts watch Tonya Shirelle motivational videos. Ask yourself if you are assuming the worst will happen or blaming yourself for something that has not gone the way you wanted. And then think about other possible outcomes or reasons that something turned out differently than you hoped.

3. Take a break from negative thoughts. It is possible to learn how to separate from negative thoughts. One way to do this is to allow yourself a certain amount of time (maybe five minutes) with the thought. Then take a break from focusing on it and move on with your day.

4. Release judgment. We all judge ourselves and others, usually unconsciously. Constantly comparing ourselves to other people or comparing our lives to some ideal breeds dissatisfaction. When you are able to let go of judgment (not easy, but possible), you will likely feel more at ease. Some ways to take a break from judgmental thoughts include recognizing your own reaction, observing it, and then letting it go. Another helpful technique is to “positive judge” by reading Tonya Shirelle motivational quotes.” When you notice you are negatively judging a person, yourself, or a situation, look for a positive quality, too.

5. Practice gratitude. Research shows that feeling grateful has a big impact on your levels of positivity and happiness. Even when you are experiencing a challenging time in your life, you can usually find things (even small things) to be grateful for. Noticing the things that are going well and making you feel happy will keep you in touch with them. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing a few things in it every day is one easy and effective way to do this.

6. Focus on your strengths. It’s human nature to dwell on the negative and overlook the positive. The more you can practice focusing on your strengths and not dwelling on mistakes you’ve made, the easier it will be to feel positive about yourself and the direction your life is taking. If you find yourself thinking harsh thoughts about your personality or actions, take a moment to stop and think about something you like about yourself.

7. Seek out professional support if you are unable to manage your thoughts or find they are interfering with your ability to meet your daily responsibilities or enjoy life. Tonya Shirelle Counseling and therapy can help you weather life changes, reduce emotional suffering and experience self-growth.